Center for Judicial Excellence

Justice. Accountability. Integrity.

  • About CJE
    • Meet Our Board of Directors
    • CJE Staff
  • Donate
  • Contact CJE
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Initiatives
    • Advocacy & Legislation
      • Media Advocacy
      • Policy & Legislation
      • Prior Legislative Victories
    • CJE Youth Speak
      • Forced “Reunification Camps”
    • U.S. Divorce Child Murder Data
    • Educating Oversight Agencies
    • Marin Court Misconduct
  • Resources
    • Family Court Crisis Background
    • Domestic Violence & Child Abuse Resources
    • Pro Bono Services, Self-Help Centers & Court Information
    • IVAT Conference Presentation
    • Survivor-Led Advocacy Efforts
  • Media
    • Allen v. Farrow 2021 Panel Discussion
    • Kids of Divorce Speak Out
    • CJE in the News
      • Online & Print
      • TV & Radio
      • Press Releases
    • The Director’s Corner
    • Special Projects
      • Film
      • Photo Exhibit
      • Slideshow
    • Photo Gallery
    • Events
      • Upcoming Events
        • Advocacy Training
      • Previous Forums & Events
        • Allen v. Farrow 2021 Panel Discussion
        • Santa Monica Weekend
        • People’s Choice Award!
        • 10 Year Anniversary Campaign
  • Take Action!
    • Donate
    • Volunteer
    • Advocacy Training Sign-Up
    • Get Social
  • News
  • Jean Taylor Memorial Fund
You are here: Home / Media Advocacy / Family Court Crisis Online Photo Exhibit / Paula – Systems Engineer – 10 Years in Family Court

Paula – Systems Engineer – 10 Years in Family Court

Anne Arundel County, MD

Paula Photo
Click the Photo to Enlarge

Paula endured 15 years of brutal abuse at the hands of her husband. The beatings intensified when she got pregnant and he tried to force an abortion. Paula said that her husband hated that he could not control her body or her love for her child, and he reportedly threatened to “make her daughter disappear.”

She went to a women’s shelter and was referred to an attorney who advised her that her husband would get unsupervised visits if they got divorced and it would cost her everything she had. So she decided to go back to him to protect her daughter. But as she became increasingly fearful for her life, she decided to have a second child so that they could have each other in case she was no longer there.

After her second daughter was born, the police intervened in many domestic violence calls, but her husband continually received Probation Before Judgment rather than jail time. As long as he attended anger management classes, her husband could apparently abuse her freely and not be in violation of his probation.

Paula’s ex-husband often called her on the phone while he was abusing their daughters and he made her listen as they were screaming in the background. Paula often called the police to help, but they would typically tell her that they do not come over if it’s a “custody matter.”

Once they were in divorce court, Paula discovered that she was barred from bringing any new criminal charges against him for domestic violence. “It is not legal, but it happens all the time,” Paula said. Criminal domestic violence cases can be vacated by a family court judge if the judge requests that the case be transferred, or if the judge joins it with a civil divorce case so it is never heard.

The judge eventually found that her ex-husband was abusing her, and that he was abusing the children as well. The psychologist found this to be true and the children’s appointed attorney agreed. But while the judge conceded that the father had abused his children, the judge also stated that Paula had not returned the children to him after he had abused them, as the court had required her to do, so the judge reportedly stated “they’re even.” Of course Paula had been told by social services that if she returned the children to her ex after knowing that he had abused them, she would be prosecuted. This exemplifies the double bind that many parents face in the family court crisis- they are damned if they do report abuse (and they are accused of fabricating allegations to gain a custody edge while being labeled alienators), and yet they are threatened with arrest for not protecting their children if they remain silent about their children’s abuse.

Paula’s ex-husband got custody of their two daughters. Remarried and living in a different state, he was eventually arrested for abusing his new wife. As for Paula’s children, the oldest is angry at Paula for not being able to protect them, and her youngest experiences terrible guilt after watching her sister suffer the brunt of the abuse. At this point, Paula trys to stay a little bit numb.“It’s not one case. There are many cases. No one case will give you the full picture. Many, many, many judges would be implicated by this. Once they realize that they’re backed into a corner, suddenly there’s silence. They just don’t answer. It’s all about covering their tracks.”

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • More
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Donate

CJE’s Mission

CJE is a nonprofit organization based in San Rafael, California. Our mission is to protect child abuse and domestic violence survivors in the U.S. family court system and to foster accountability throughout the judicial branch.

For nearly two decades, the Center has been a voice for vulnerable children and a catalyst for child safety as we work tirelessly to expose the systemic failures in U.S. family courts that are harming countless children. We accomplish this by educating the media, lawmakers, and the public about the need for significant reforms while we spearhead legislation focused on keeping children safe and alive through their parent’s divorce or separation.

Contact Us

P.O. Box 150793
San Rafael, California 94915
Phone: 415-444-6556
Email:
info@centerforjudicialexcellence.org

Find Us on Facebook

CJE Facebook Page

Email List Signup

CJE DOES NOT GIVE LEGAL ADVICE. We want to hear your story, however, please be advised, if you choose to share information with us, we can not guarantee your privacy.
The information provided on this website does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice. All information, content, and materials available on this site are for general informational purposes only. Information on this website may not constitute the most up-to-date legal or other information. This website contains links to other third-party websites. Such links are only for the convenience of the reader, user or browser; CJE and its members do not recommend or endorse the contents of the third-party sites. Readers of this website should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter. No reader, user, or browser of this site should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information on this site without first seeking legal advice from counsel in the appropriate jurisdiction. Only your individual attorney can provide assurances whether the information contained herein applies to your particular situation.

 

Copyright © 2025 Center for Judicial Excellence. All Rights Reserved.

Log in

 

Loading Comments...